Tuesday, January 4, 2005
In December I bought a digital camera, which was not an easy thing for me to do because I'm so anti-consumeristic. For me, it was a big deal. It's something I've been wanting for a long time. In fact, a few years ago, a friend bought a $300 camera for me as a gift and asked if I wanted a digital camera. I said no because that's when they were new and I didn't know anything about the technology, so I was intimidated by it. Then my friend Ken gave me a free digital camera. It can only take 5 pictures at a time and the quality isn't very good, but it got me comfortable with the technology.
Now I'm in love with digital. I live in two worlds -- dirt (nature) and digital. Of course I do love to paint, but I have to digitize all of my paintings. I don't want to sell the originals.
I just want to make a point that this was not mindless consumerism. I'd wanted a digital camera for a long time and felt I needed one in order to continue expanding my art work. Ken had been doing some research and found an updated and upgraded model of his own camera (which is very good) on sale for $199 with a free memory card. If I was serious about buying a camera, I couldn't pass it up.
So now I've got a digital camera and suddenly I feel like the whole world is opening up to me. I think that's the way it should be. This is a major event in my life. It brings the smallest details into high relief.
As I get older, I feel like I get closer and closer to my true self, but it's a difficult thing to explain. It's like our lives, when we're born into this world, are so shaped by the world around us. We don't really know who we are or what we want. So we spend much of our lives letting the world tell us who we are and what we're supposed to want.
It's like standing in the midst of a storm. When you know who you are, when you are centered and connected to the source of all being, you are in the peaceful eye of the storm. When you don't know who you are, when you're not centered and connected, then you are blown every which way by the storm and at some point you make look at your life and not be able to understand any of it.
That's not a bad thing -- just to stop and look.
I don't know why we are here, but I did eventually come to the conclusion that we don't need an ultimate reason for being here. We just are. We can make it whatever we want. We are creative beings. We are the Earth and the universe, and like the universe, we are creative, dynamic, expansive, and evolving.
So, for most people, buying a camera is not a philosophical or life-altering experience. But for me it is. That's just the kind of person I am.
Now my mind is opening up. It's almost as if I can see that lavender-white, thousand-petaled lotus blossoming from the crown of my skull. I want to invite the world in to see what I see. But it will take time.
Now I'm in love with digital. I live in two worlds -- dirt (nature) and digital. Of course I do love to paint, but I have to digitize all of my paintings. I don't want to sell the originals.
I just want to make a point that this was not mindless consumerism. I'd wanted a digital camera for a long time and felt I needed one in order to continue expanding my art work. Ken had been doing some research and found an updated and upgraded model of his own camera (which is very good) on sale for $199 with a free memory card. If I was serious about buying a camera, I couldn't pass it up.
So now I've got a digital camera and suddenly I feel like the whole world is opening up to me. I think that's the way it should be. This is a major event in my life. It brings the smallest details into high relief.
As I get older, I feel like I get closer and closer to my true self, but it's a difficult thing to explain. It's like our lives, when we're born into this world, are so shaped by the world around us. We don't really know who we are or what we want. So we spend much of our lives letting the world tell us who we are and what we're supposed to want.
It's like standing in the midst of a storm. When you know who you are, when you are centered and connected to the source of all being, you are in the peaceful eye of the storm. When you don't know who you are, when you're not centered and connected, then you are blown every which way by the storm and at some point you make look at your life and not be able to understand any of it.
That's not a bad thing -- just to stop and look.
I don't know why we are here, but I did eventually come to the conclusion that we don't need an ultimate reason for being here. We just are. We can make it whatever we want. We are creative beings. We are the Earth and the universe, and like the universe, we are creative, dynamic, expansive, and evolving.
So, for most people, buying a camera is not a philosophical or life-altering experience. But for me it is. That's just the kind of person I am.
Now my mind is opening up. It's almost as if I can see that lavender-white, thousand-petaled lotus blossoming from the crown of my skull. I want to invite the world in to see what I see. But it will take time.
posted by Evon Davis at 5:08 AM
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