Sunday, January 9, 2005

Of all the seasons in Denver, winter is the least attractive, but it could be better if we made a little effort. I wonder if other artists are like this: I’m always envisioning the world as a work of art, as if I’m walking through a work of art. It’s sort of like the movie What Dreams May Come. The main character Christi dies and when he arrives in the afterlife, he finds himself inside of a painting; the paint is still wet. It’s sort of like that (except the paint is dry). But it’s especially true because I express myself in so many different media.

Sarina and I walked to the library today. It was a beautiful day in January. The sky was clear blue, the sun shining bright and warm. If I didn’t know it was early January, I’d think it was spring. There were still some patches of snow on the ground from a recent snow storm, but that is common in spring as well. I’m already looking forward to hearing birds, seeing the birds on the trees, the grass turning bright green, and the spring flowers emerging. The block I live on is owned by a property management company and is well-kept and beautiful, but as soon as we crossed the street to the next block, things changed drastically and I was disturbed by what I saw. There was trash strewn all over the ground, and dog shit on the ground and on the sidewalk.

I watched Sarina in her shiny black shoes skip around the offending, smelly shit. Then we approached a pile of junk on the ground in front of one building. Someone had been evicted; their whole life thrown out on the street. I was horrified and my mood plunged by the ugliness of the world. I sunk into a deep melancholia and my head ached. For the rest of the day, I felt depressed and couldn’t figure out how to pull myself out of it. Stuff like that makes me so angry and depressed, I just don’t know how to deal with it.

At the library, I picked up a couple of interesting books, hoping something would engage my mind, inspire me, and lift me out of the depressed mood. I’m not saying it’s the best solution to the problem, but I didn’t know what else to do.

I checked out Radical Simplicity by Jim Merkel. I’d read it a year ago and was impressed with it. I wanted to read it again for the purpose of writing a review for the website and continue to increase my awareness of my impact upon the Earth and how I might live more in harmony with the Earth. (Click here to read the review.)

So I’m reading Radical Simplicity and writing a review, but my head is still aching and my stomach is still nauseous. Sometimes it feels so painful, I guess because I can’t understand why it’s not painful to others. How can humans live this way? How can they be this way? I just don’t understand it. How can we not live as a community? How can we be so hurtful, wasteful, and destructive?

Am I saying that the landowner should not be allowed to evict a tenant who doesn’t pay or behave responsibly? No, that’s not quite the point I’m trying to make here. What I’m saying is that we desperately need better solutions because this solution is not right! There have to be other solutions – better solutions. Throwing a human being and everything they own out on the street in the middle of winter is bullshit!