Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Yesterday I walked home for lunch and while I was at home I started crying because I didn't want to go back to the law firm where I work. Of course, I did go back. What else could I do? I'm still dependent upon that system for survival. But it breaks my heart to have to spend my life locked inside all day, killing trees and poisoning the Earth all the time in order to survive. Most of the people I work with can't even make the effort to notice the difference between the recycle bin and the garbage can, much less anything else.

Recently they implemented a new system at the firm where you have to enter a client number in order to print anything. That way it gets charged to the client. I'm happy about it because the accountability will reduce wastefulness. But one woman in the office was complaining about it so I pointed out that it would make people less wasteful. Her response was, "Law firms have always been wasteful. That's just the way they are." I was so dumbfounded, I didn't even know what to say.

So I'm STILL trying to figure out how to survive in this world without killing the planet and contributing to the suffering of other human beings. I'm working on the website for that purpose (and selling art). I love writing the articles and reviews so much, but as always I need some way to make money and I figure helping artists will be less of a philosophical crisis for me. And it will be good for them too.